Abir
3 min readJul 25, 2021

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Things I do when I am not okay and that help me to feel better

Photo by Jackson Simmer on Unsplash

Like many people, I am suffering from anxiety and I can be easily stressed. Anxiety makes me feel very bad and overwhelmed by negative thoughts. But as I grow up, I learn new things and simple actions that help beat anxiety episodes. I am writing this story for me to read it when I am not ok. Because I need a self reminder in the “struggle days”.

1- Remember the last time I was not okay and how things went better after. As I have too many “anxiety moments” in my life, this makes me stronger, because I know that I already did it in the past and I succeed to feel better.

2- Remind myself that everything in life is temporary, and so my actual anxiety is. It will end, I don’t know how much it will last, but I am sure that it will not last forever.

3- Accept my feelings: I read this advice often in self help posts and it works. Don’t try to fight negative feeling, accept them and they will go by themselves.

4- Rest: sometimes we just need to rest and everything is feeling better than. When we are tired or we need to sleep, our mind amplifies the negative thoughts, taking a nap or rest allows us to reboot our mind and see things from a new perspective.

5- Try to do something else: if our mind is focused on a problem we can do a lot of things make it busy and change the “topic”. Things that work for me are: cleaning, cooking, puzzles… But there are too many other activities like reading, painting or just watching TV.

6- Take a shower: Water is relaxing. Personally, shower time is one of my favourite moments in the day, that’s why when I am not feeling okay I take a shower. It feels like if I wash my negative thoughts. Taking a shower helps us to focus on another thing than our problems. Cold showers make us feel more fresh. Hot showers help to relax the muscles. So choose the water temperature that is more convenient for you and take a shower.

7- Move! This is a classic tip, exercising or taking a walk make us feel much better. If we cannot go out for a walk we can do it at home. Many YouTube channels offer walking at home sessions.

8- Stretching: Stretching is the simplest way to relax. It helps our body is relaxed and our minds too. You are not obliged to do a Yoga session. Just stretch for one or two minutes.

9- Taking deep breathes: Self help posts advice to do yoga or meditation. But this does not work for me. When I am stressed or not feeling ok, it is too difficult for me to stay calm and meditate. But taking deep breathes works better. I often do the 4–7–8 breathing technique (breathing in for 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds). I repeat it 10 times. It takes one or two minutes and really helps me to feel better.

Finally, you can do one or many actions from the ones described above. Even it does not work to relax us it makes us feel better. This is the compound effect benefits: If you do many little actions, the whole result can be great. And always remember that nothing lasts eternally, your negative feeling and thoughts will go on. Just be patient and accept them.

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Abir

IT working girl. Interested in many topics such as project management, self help, tech and trading. Writes in French and English